temujackie: (Default)
melissa ([personal profile] temujackie) wrote2025-04-22 11:41 am

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datgirl: (sad about these teenagers)

a little autumn foraging

[personal profile] datgirl 2025-04-22 09:20 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Possibly, Shauna thinks that Melissa is too scared to plot betrayal and that Hannah is too busy trying to prove her loyalty to also plot betrayal. Or, possibly Shauna doesn't give a single shit and would dare them to try anything at all. Whatever the reason, Hannah and Melissa are foraging buddies today.

Hannah keeps glancing at Melissa, nervous that maybe the wound from Kodi's crossbow, though mostly healed, is causing her more pain than she lets on around the others. She wouldn't blame Melissa for that. Showing weakness seems unwise. ]


You're not nothing, you know. [ Which is a whole other kind of wound, and one that's much harder to heal from. ] It was really brave of you to stand up to Shauna, even if it didn't feel like it.
datgirl: (i'm hannah)

[personal profile] datgirl 2025-04-23 07:15 pm (UTC)(link)
[ First, she feels like she got punched in the gut. "I'm not scared," Alex said about the first thunderstorm she was aware of and had words for. She was wide-eyed and trembling and holding on tight, growing fast, vocabulary expanding exponentially. Hannah had been barely twenty, and more than anything, she was scared of being anything but safe and secure for her little girl. She'd managed, with a lot of help.

There is no help for her out here. She is not these teenagers' mother, but wanting to protect was first a habit and now an intrinsic, instinctive response in her. She has to consciously tell herself no and remember what it was like to be seventeen and terrified and surrounded by a handful of friends and a handful of mean kids in a sea of acquaintances.

So, first, the ache of wanting to create a safe place for a kid, and second, the halting, careful thoughts that may actually be helpful in this context. ]


You wouldn't have spoken up if you were.

[ Somewhat true. Partly true. There's just so much Hannah doesn't know about the team. Their plane went down, what, a year ago? She's only been here a week. Maybe. Time is starting to fall out of focus. ]

Why do you think she wants to stay here?
datgirl: (sad about these teenagers)

[personal profile] datgirl 2025-04-24 02:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Foraging becomes, temporarily, a secondary objective. Learning more about the group and their dynamics is also part of surviving, and possibly a more important one for her. One mistake could get her killed quicker than starvation would.

The night they were supposed to leave told Hannah a lot about the group, like who held sway. It told her Shauna has something here that she can't have back home, and that Lottie fears whatever is waiting for her there. She's not sure about Tai's motivations, but they're at odds with Van's, and Van has pull with Tai. God, there's only thirteen kids here, but their dynamics are so complex.

Hannah isn't as well-read in social power structures and human psychology as she could be, but it seems likely that Shauna feels like she needs the control she has here. She has proven she'll be violent to keep it. It would be fascinating if it weren't so dangerous. ]


Three of you want to stay, ten of you want to leave. [ Hannah doesn't count herself among them. She's not part of the equation. ] But it's not just about the numbers, is it.

[ And then, of course-- ]

And Kodi's dead now anyway. [ my bad

Hannah sighs. ]


I should've taken a class on navigating with instruments. At least I remember it might not be too late for cranberries.
datgirl: (i'm hannah)

[personal profile] datgirl 2025-04-24 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It's safer for now, thinks Hannah, unaware that Melissa is thinking the same. Kodi may be dead (I may have killed Kodi), but there has to be some other way to get these kids home. She'll never forget the looks on their faces when they found out search efforts had been stopped only a few months after the crash. The world may have forgotten about them, but their families haven't. Hannah isn't some expert wilderness navigator the way Kodi was, but she is going to get them home somehow, even if it means she has to die. At least she knows Alex is safe back home, with grandpa and grandma. Hannah will fight tooth and nail to get back to her, but if the choice becomes her or the teenagers-- well, she has to choose them. They've suffered enough out here. ]

Right. No, I wouldn't leave either, not without a guide. [ If only she remembered the hike out here. If only she'd listened to Edwin. If only he were here to talk her through the waves of panic and despair.

If only, if only. ]
Besides, we're not the only people who could be out here. I mean, if Edwin and I made this trek, other people might.

[ There's always hope. There has to be hope. ]

In the meantime, I'm with you guys. I'll keep doing my part to keep us fed and safe.

[ Even though it could mean the worst. Hannah winces at a sudden thought-- ]

Even if it means we find some of those cute little frogs and have to roast them for dinner.
datgirl: (team mom)

[personal profile] datgirl 2025-04-26 12:35 am (UTC)(link)
[ Hannah chooses not to think about the implications about last winter, focusing instead on the fact that they've clearly been working to prevent that from happening again.

More important right now, though, is the fact that she has earned Melissa's trust. Maybe not fully, but enough that Melissa feels like she can share tidbits about the year before, the team's dynamics, and even something as simple as being told she's nice to have around. Hannah wonders about Melissa herself: what's her family like, do they know she's gay, do they support her? She's a good kid. She deserves a good home life. They all do.

She smiles back, comfortable and encouraging. ]


I bet I'd be better if I could find more food. [ There are some mushrooms just to her right. She bends to grab them. ] That means a lot. It sounds pretty dumb, but it's nice to know at least one person likes you enough to just talk.

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datgirl: (sad about these teenagers)

[personal profile] datgirl 2025-06-29 10:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It's a painful ruse to maintain, but it's vital to Hannah's survival. She commits, following Shauna's orders, standing guard for her, acting as her enforcer when she uses intimidation to make the others comply.

It has to be this way because it will allow Hannah to help them in the long run. At least, that's what Hannah tells herself every day, every night. Being the adult in camp, her apparent devotion to Shauna's will lends Shauna more power, while Hannah quietly ponders what to do. How to get these kids and herself home.

It's been so long since she's been able to have a real conversation with any of the crash survivors that when Melissa asks for help with a chore, it takes all Hannah's strength not to immediately say yes. She looks around, checking to make sure she really is done with the tasks assigned to her (or done enough), then nods. ]


Sure. I can help you carry that.
datgirl: (i'm hannah)

[personal profile] datgirl 2025-07-06 12:03 am (UTC)(link)
[ Guess what. Hannah is even more paranoid, walking another few yards before responding. ]

As okay as can be. [ Lying takes effort, and she's constantly on edge around Shauna, so yeah she's being honest. ] Taking it one day at a time. How are you? How's your shoulder?

[ Has she been able to do her exercises? Hannah is cautious with what she tells Melissa to work on, given she's not a doctor. All she can do is hope she's helping. ]
datgirl: (sad about these teenagers)

[personal profile] datgirl 2025-07-07 01:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah.

[ All of it. The way her research trip got derailed. Her boyfriend killed. Kodiak dead by her own hand. Human flesh consumed because she has to survive this and get back home. And that's only what she's been through. These kids have been here for over a year. Hannah can't imagine the weight of the despair they bear.

She doesn't hesitate to plunge her hands in the frigid water and start to scrub fabric. The bite of it on her skin shifts her focus to the present. There's no point wallowing, and she has to be sharp so she can report back to Shauna when she and Melissa come back with the cleaner-than-before clothes. And yeah... this fucking sucks. ]


Almost less painful to just use snow, but running water is such a valuable resource.

[ That feels stupid to say. Of course Melissa knows that. They're out here by themselves, and they should make the most of it. God, Shauna's paranoia is contagious. ]

How's morale? Like... really.
datgirl: (wdym we're not going home)

[personal profile] datgirl 2025-07-15 05:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Mmhm.

[ Hannah knows. Nobody wants to oppose Shauna, who has Lottie's blessing and Taissa's support. And, at least in appearance, Hannah's loyalty. In trying to save her own life, Hannah has made herself someone to keep away from. It makes it easier for her to observe the kids and learn about their dynamics, but it's also terribly lonely.

At night she sometimes goes to Edwin's grave and sits there, silent as she tries to parse her thoughts and make them into words she wouldn't speak into the world even if she had them. It's too dangerous. She is the outsider. If she must be separate from them, she needs to be the one they risk sending out to find help.

(Mostly, all she comes up with is apology after apology. She hears her grandmother talk about the sin of pride and apologizes again, not to a god she isn't even sure is real, but to the man who saw beauty, not chaos, in her past.)

She scrubs at a splotch of mud in a pair of jeans. She's not afraid to say this, at least. ]


I want chicken nuggets. With ketchup. So bad.

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bubblegumheart: (pic#15858221)

[personal profile] bubblegumheart 2025-09-26 07:30 am (UTC)(link)
Are you doing anything this weekend?
bubblegumheart: (pic#16061248)

[personal profile] bubblegumheart 2025-09-29 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
Does that mean you're not busy?
Because I was going to ask if you wanted to stay over while I have the house to myself.
bubblegumheart: (pic#15845340)

[personal profile] bubblegumheart 2025-09-29 02:54 am (UTC)(link)
Great!
We can watch dumb movies or something.
bubblegumheart: (pic#15858209)

[personal profile] bubblegumheart 2025-09-29 06:03 pm (UTC)(link)
You can probably come over whenever you want. :)

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